FOUR FUNNY THOUGHTS TO LIGHTEN THE LOAD
1) OUR CONFUSED FUTURE
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research.
This means that by 2040, there will be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
2) NEVER ARGUE WITH A WOMAN
One morning, a husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, his wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.
Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?"). "You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know, you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know, you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day, ma'am," he says, and he leaves.
Moral: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.
3) THE PROOF THAT JESUS WAS A WOMAN
1 He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
2 He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3 And, even when he was dead, he had to get up because there was work to do.
4) THE WORLD'S SHORTEST FAIRY TALE
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, "Will you marry me?"
The girl said, "No," and she lived happily ever after, went shopping, drank martinis with friends, always had a clean house, never had to cook, had a wardrobe full of shoes and handbags, stayed skinny, and was never farted on.
The End
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