HOW TO MAKE HIM STOP DRINKING
A little red wine is good for your heart - but a whole bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon to dull the pain of a stress-filled day is a different matter entirely. Alcohol is cheap, widely available and socially smiled on, which makes it hard to express concerns about heavy drinking to a bibulous friend or partner.
Bob Patton, health psychologist at the National Addiction Centre, King's College, London, says, "With such a widespread and popular activity as drinking, a hands-off approach is better - getting people to make their own conclusions. Give them little jogs so that they can see the consequences associated with their behaviour - a bad hangover is an obvious example." The 'social proof' rule seems useful here. "People often say they drink because everyone else is doing it. But if they're drinking more than a lot of other people, you can point out their drinking is not normal compared with the rest of the world."
The 'commitment and consistency' rule is also useful. A US study found that householders who were told that their neighbourhood always gave generously to charity were much more likely to donate large sums to doorstep fundraisers. Fill the fridge with fresh vegetables, persuade your partner to take up more exercise, and
begin to plant in his mind the idea that he takes his health seriously. There's a chance he might alter his drinking habits to fit in with his new self-image.
MORE EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE